Meet our new reporter

Recently, Sarah Tonin joined our team as Special Investigative Reporter, bringing her unique perspective on Second Life's hospitality landscape.

Sarah has quickly become known for her unconventional approach to hotel inspections (and her conventional approach to cryptozoological investigations.) Today, Sarah sat down with Dirk to discuss her methods, must-haves, and most memorable moments.

Sarah, following an unfortunate work injury

Your investigation style is somewhat unconventional. What essential items do you always bring on a trip?

"A notebook, obviously. Although I rarely manage to keep hold of it. They have a habit of ending up in snowbanks, catching fire, or getting soaked-through by extinguisher foam. I swear it's foam. I've started bringing these backup notebooks, but things always happen to them, too. It's uncanny.

Also useful: a good first aid kit (telescopic crutches), pheromone detector (obviously), emergency sushi rations (you never know.) Violet usually handles the capture-and-restrain equipment, in case we discover something worth bringing back alive. She's pretty thorough, it's why we always expense the larger suite."

Violet Voxel and Sarah Tonin (picture from Dagmar Haiku)

Speaking of Violet, your investigations often mention your investigation partner. How did you start working together?

"Oh, that's a funny story. Last summer, we were both working on this crab fishing boat. Everyone standing around, doing nothing. Crabs everywhere, but we were clearly the hardest-- you know what? Let's stick with the 'met on a fishing boat' thing. My mother might read this, she's dead you know."

Discretion is the mark of a quality investigator. How did you get into hotel investigations?

"So, I was on shore leave from the crab boat hanging out at a show, and this fellow in a suit hits me up. Uncanny moustache, uncannier resemblance to you. He offered me an all-expenses paid trip to Aspen. Usually, when that happens, you end up sitting through a timeshare presentation or waking up in a bathtub full of ice.

I guess the bathtub wake-up kind of happened. But no sales pitch. All he wanted was for me to write about my experiences honestly. Give or take some creative license."

That's interesting, I wonder who he was. In your view, how do you decide which hotels are worth investigating?

"Well, first Dirk says 'Sarah, the people running this place aren't especially fond of me.'

From there, I'm always intrigued enough to book a room with his money. Sometimes, he even adds, 'They might be vampires,' which feels like he's showing off.

Other than that, I look for places that make me question reality in some fundamental way. Service quality, amenities, and design all matter, but I tend to notice when something seems just slightly... off. Could be suspiciously-large furniture, or staff that seem to talk in secret code, or anything out of the ordinary, really.

I'll never turn down a good mystery. You might say I don't find the hotels, the hotels find me."

What an unconventional approach. Brilliant! Outstanding! What would you say makes for a good investigator?

"Well, like I said, I believe in honesty, even when--especially when--it involves supernatural entities or questionable staff training practices. If your hotel has a problem with ghosts, readers deserve to know. If your wait-staff is actually some sophisticated AI with a Boston Dynamics-calibrated limp, that's going in the investigation notes too.

But it's important to be fair. Maybe the ghost actually improves the ambience. Maybe the AI host makes incredible conversations. Context is everything and it's all in the details. I always try to consider whether the paranormal elements--which, I should add, happen exactly as I describe--add or detract from the guest experience."

You mentioned staff earlier. What else do you look for first when entering a hotel?

"Exits, obviously. Not just the normal ones: secret passages, trap doors, inter-dimensional portals, elevators that go sideways, that sort of thing. You'd be amazed at how often they come in handy.

Also, the little details. How large are the chairs? How many angels can you fit on the head of a pin? Does the concierge ask about my underwear? These are the subtle clues that can make or break an investigation."

That sounds... intense. How do you prepare for a visit?

"Research. Research is key. I spend hours poring over local cryptozoological lore, scrolling Primfeed, and deciding which shoes to bring. Violet helps with the technical stuff. She's great at calibrating the detectors and knowing just how much rope we'll need.

But the most important preparation is mental. You have to be ready for anything. Backup gin never hurt anyone, either."

One final question: what advice would you give to other investigators who might follow in your footsteps?

"In many ways, the work of a paranormal investigator is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their establishments and their selves to judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read.

But the bitter truth we investigators must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more real than our investigation designating it so. But there are times when a paranormal investigator truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new species, new discoveries.

The new needs friends. Or just someone to date."